Time to say Goodbye
by Yuei
Summary: It's the most important day in Tsukushi's life. Her wedding day! But her groom ends up in hospital and without a single memory of her. How will she react and will he remember? Please R&R.


Time to say Goodbye  
  
I don't own Hana Yori Dango.  
  
I don't really like this fic as much as Best Friends or Bittersweet. But I'm gonna put it on the net anyway since I put a lot of effort into it. Sorry for not writing for so long. So this time I'm gonna post two one- shots at once( Thank you to all who commented on my last two one-shots Rain and Soul-mates. I hope you'll like this fic too.  
  
Just a idea I got one day out of the blue at twelve o'clock midnight( I've been writing feverishly and I'm glad to get this else. Please comment, or I'll be really sad(  
  
Time slowed then stopped completely as I stood at the alter decorated by wild flowers of all kind in the out-door wedding. Watching in horror as my groom fell down on the road, knocked by a black sedan right in front of my eyes. I threw away the banquet of lilies and rushed to him, cradling his bloody head on my lap. Crimson blood trickled down onto my white gown; I tried in vain to stop the steady blood flow.  
  
Red and blue lights were suddenly flashing in my vision, and white clad doctors were trying to loosen my grip on Tsukasa's hands. Rui came up from behind, letting me lean my lifeless body against his sturdy chest. He led me onto the ambulance, placing me on a seat next to the unconscious Tsukasa. I sat there strangely calm, watching the doctors hurrying around moving advanced equipment. I could only believe that those machines will save my groom's life. I gripped Rui's hand tightly, my hand trembling. Rui stroked me gently murmuring unheard words. I stared at Tsukasa's deathly pale face remembering that just days ago he had been retorting ignorantly. Causing me to slap his big baka head.  
  
I looked at Tsukasa, how I wish I hadn't done that. Now, maybe--. I cut off my thoughts. No Tsukushi, nothing will happen to him. He'll see you in the dress. The ambulance screeched to a stop, doctors lowered Tsukasa onto a movable bed. Rolling him into the operation room. Rui pulled me back and shook his head. "He'll be alright. Let the doctors do what they have to do." He forced me to sit down in the waiting room. Letting me lean on him. Soon Akira and Soujiro came in, and sat down too. Akira kept running his hand in his hair distressed, and Soujiro couldn't stop dealing his phone then stops then deal all over again.  
  
Only Rui showed no sign of distress sitting as always proud and straight with an uninterested expression on his face. Tears welled up and finally spelt out after about one hour of waiting, "He's dead, isn't he?" I shook Rui, hysterical. My thin fingers gripping onto him tightly. Rui winced, I knew I was hurting him, but that didn't stop me anyhow.  
  
"No, he won't die." Rui answered calmly, he took my desperate fingers gently off his shoulder to cradle them in his hands. He pulled my trembling body into his and rocked me back and fro like soothing a crying baby. Soujiro shot us a disgusted glance and got up to paced around again and again restlessly.  
  
Finally a doctor came out of the operation room, my body lay deflated in Rui's arms, he pulled me up and rushed to the doctor with Akira and Soujiro. "Doctor!" We looked at him; it was obvious what we wanted but was too afraid to ask.  
  
"He's not going to die." The doctor reassured us. "But well, his brain has been damaged. We'll have to run tests to see what side affects he will suffer from this."  
  
The five of us all released a breath that we hadn't known we had been holding. At that moment I could just kiss that doctor even with his shiny bold head. Akira was so relived that he stepped in and hugged the doctor tightly jumping up and down, frightening the poor man out of his wits. Soujiro's usual grin began to etch back onto his handsome face, studying his mobile again he went into a private corner to make a phone call.  
  
"Can we see him doctor?" I asked the shaken up doctor urgently. At that moment I really needed to see Tsukasa and touch him to make sure he really is breathing, if the doctor said no, I knew I will worry all night restlessly about him.  
  
"He's rather weak at the moment." The doctor said doubtfully. Rui then left my side for the first time this evening. Stuffing a significantly big bulge of money into the short man's pocket. He whispered a few words into the man's ear. The man looking torn between duty and greed closed his eyes, "Just a few minutes, don't get find out." He finally said.  
  
"Thank you doctor, thank you!" I half ran into the room dragging the long train of the gown behind me, too happy to scold that scene which would normally disgust me. Paying money for others to do something they weren't allowed. Rui followed closely behind me still with a worried expression on his face. I could hear metallic beating from the second I stepped within five meters of the pale Tsukasa. I stroked one stray curl out of his face tenderly. Tears willing up in my eyes again, "Baka, why did you choose our wedding to be the time to get knocked over?" Rui pulled out a chair for me to sit on, I sat down gratefully, it had been a long tiring day. "Get well quickly Tsukasa, get well to marry me."  
  
"Don't worry Tsukushi." Akira's voice came from behind Rui. "We all know how much Tsukasa loves you, he'll be up and well in a few days." He said kindly.  
  
"He waited years to become a man," Soujiro's ignorant voice floated out from behind Rui. "Don't think he can wait any more, I'll bet he'll be up in a few hours. Or," he lowered his voice. "You could give him what he want to wake him. You know, give him a surprise."  
  
I groaned blushing to the roots of my hair. "Soujiro! How could you think of something so perverted at this time!" I jumped up to smack him on the head. That was when a low groan stopped us, and froze us all.  
  
I turned back to see Tsukasa sitting up a little rubbing his head. Soujiro flashed me a knowing smile, "I think he heard." He hopped beside Tsukasa and smacked him jokingly on the back, "Couldn't wait another moment huh?"  
  
"For what?" His hoarse growl sounded throughout the hospital. "My head hurts Soujiro stop smacking me."  
  
"Sorry sorry." Soujiro put his hands in front of his chest in mock surrender.  
  
"If apology works, then what do we need police for?" Ah, the infamous words.  
  
I watched this with much amusement and relief, Tsukasa was back to normal. Suddenly Tsukasa's head turned around to watch me, his eyes focusing. I expected the normal warming smile from him maybe even some few sappy words of affection and comfort. I ran up to him and threw my arms around him wanting to make sure he was all right.  
  
His body went rigid in my embrace, I expected him to relax after a few seconds but he didn't. Instead he pushed me roughly off him. "Get off me bitch." Tsukasa spat at me his eyes cold like when he looks at other girls. "Soujiro, make sure that your next girlfriend doesn't hit on me." He lay down, seemly exhausted.  
  
I was too confused to do anything then just to stand there dumbfounded. The five of stood in silence. Rui was the first one to react, "Tsukasa, she's not one of Soujiro's girlfriends." He said quietly.  
  
"Then Akira's? Never knew you had a taste for young woman Akira."  
  
Akira laughed tightly, "Come on, Tsukasa. Stop joking! You know who she is, she's the love of your life you fiancé!"  
  
"What!" Tsukasa sat up immediately. Looking me up and down. "I don't have such bad taste!" he frowned, "who are you?" He asked me roughly with no emotion.  
  
My heart twisted and started to crack. Adding another scar in my large collection. I didn't want to believe that Tsukasa had forgotten me; I didn't want to answer his meaningless question. I reached for Rui desperately, out of habit; I tend to do this whenever I was distressed. Rui stood in front of me, "Tsukasa, she's Makino Tsukushi." He answered patiently, looking into Tsukasa's eyes willing him to remember.  
  
Tsukasa brows burrowed in concentration as he tried to remember, his lips started to twist at first it seemed like he was thinking real hard, but then he started to moan and grab at his hair. Rui acted immediately calling a doctor. And shielding me at the same time. But I saw everything and heard everything; the doctors said that he had not hurt any serious part of his brain. Just a small part that they're still not sure the function of. They don't know why he remembers everything except me.  
  
That night I balled up, pulling me knees to my forehead in a fatal position. Crying and refusing Rui's comfort. I cried then slept when I was tired, waking up only to cry again. No body could get me eat nor do anything else than that. But soon I got too hungry to even cry so I had to get up and do something, I knew that I had to make Tsukasa remember me, but how? What can I do?  
  
After some encouragement and planning with Rui, we decided to start on all the small things that Tsukasa and I did together. I would show him all the places that were special to us, Rui would tell him all about how we met and about his actions to chase me that I didn't even know. And Akira and Soujiro would just constantly make jokes about us to revive Tsukasa's memory. I'm grateful to every one of them, they try so hard for me, Akira and Soujiro cracking dry jokes and Rui the usual silent one becoming an expert at preaching because of me.  
  
But all was in vain, as we realized that every time it seemed like we were going somewhere, that he'd get a hint in his eyes that was like the Tsukasa before the accident, his headaches would come up and the doctors would have to give him painkillers and sleep.  
  
We soon saw that the headaches weren't just coincidence, they happened every time we were talking about something sensitive about Tsukasa and I, never other times, he would seem all normal and healthy any other time. It make to start to suspect that maybe Tsukasa doesn't want to remember, maybe unconsciously he choose to forget because that more unpainful.  
  
I knew that the new Tsukasa hated me. Because he would link me as the cause of his headaches, and he was just listening because of F3. It hurts so much when I see him in is headaches, maybe I should let go, I hate to see someone I love so much being hurt because of me.  
  
It all ended not by my choice, but by the choice of god. That day we planned to take Tsukasa to Spanish church that he proposed to me in. We had it all decorated with wild flowers, exactly like the time he proposed to me. I stood there in the same white dress, letting my raven hair flow down my back, breathing in the wild smell that those flowers always give off I stood at the alter in front of the crucified Jesus. Tsukasa arrived at last complaining, kicking and struggling in his friends' grasp. My heart suddenly began to hurt, every time I see the new Tsukasa it seems to be that way. I turned around and forced a smile onto my lips, "Tsukasa." I said quietly.  
  
That was all I did and suddenly Tsukasa fell down onto the cold cobblestone floor, his body started spasming uncontrollably his griped his head knocking it on the floor. I ran to him kneeling down, it was like that time when he got knocked down was happening all over again. Only this time there was no car, it was me who had hurt him. Tsukasa eyes rolled widely, he shriveled from my touch, "Please," he gasped. "Stop." I could only nod, because I couldn't bear to see him in such pain.  
  
Rui picked Tsukasa up and ran with him on his back to the nearest hospital. The Spanish doctors ran around getting all the painkillers ready. After they had gotten Tsukasa's body under control the main doctor mentioned for up to go into his office. He spoke gravely, all in Spanish, which I couldn't understand. But I knew that it wasn't any good news from the depressed looks on F3's faces. "What?" I asked. F3 turned away, no one dared to look me in the eye. "What?" I repeated raising my voice, I knew I was getting hysterical, but I didn't care. I turned to Rui, my best friend my comfort, "Rui, tell me." I spoke calmly to him, willing him to turn around and look my in the eye.  
  
"Tsukushi, do you really want to know?" was his quiet question.  
  
I trembled and shrank down. Some always said ignorance was bless, but I really did need to know how Tsukasa was doing. I held my head high. "Yes." Was my trembling reply.  
  
"They have to give a injection to him to stop his headaches permanently."  
  
"Then do it! Quickly!" I frowned not seeing any point to be sad about.  
  
"But once he is given the injection. There won't be a chance of him getting his memory back, ever again." He continued. "But if he's not given the injection the doctors are afraid he'll die of them, he's come pretty close this time." Rui finally looked at me, looking for my reaction.  
  
"Do it." My answer was short and straight without hesitation. Which surprised F3 as much as it surprised myself. "He asked me at the church and I agreed. I won't break an agreement." I smiled bravely. "Won't that be better for all of us?"  
  
"Tsukushi." Akira interrupted. "You don't have to be brave."  
  
"No, I'm not being brave, I'm just been unselfish, for once in my life. We shouldn't have put him in such a torturous trail in the first place."  
  
"But—" Soujiro tried to cut in.  
  
"I know he loved me. I know that we had good times together. And I'll treasure all the memories even if he had lost them. I'll treasure them for both of us." Tears were rolling freely down my face now. My hand were rolled into fists, I dug my nails into flesh trying to control my emotions. "Let's leave it like this ok? We'll leave it like this before we hurt Tsukasa seriously."  
  
I was pulled into Rui's strong embrace before I could say another word. He brushed my tears away with a finger. "Thank you Tsukushi. Tsukasa will thank you." He gestured to the waiting doctors. And pulled me into him more tightly. I knew he was trying to protect me from the needle the injector and the blank faced doctors. I grabbed his shirt tightly soaking it for maybe the thousandth time this month. The Tsukasa that I used to know flashed through my brain.  
  
The mean Tsukasa, who gave me the red tag and made the students of school tease me. The angry Tsukasa, who used to shout at any boys who got near me. The shy Tsukasa, who used to grin like an idiot when I show the littlest bit of affection. The childish Tsukasa, who pouted and refused to speak every time I refuse to do things his way. The romantic Tsukasa, who would tell me that I was his only. The sad Tsukasa, the mature Tsukasa, the fatherly Tsukasa, the understanding Tsukasa. That Tsukasa who loved me with all his heart.  
  
He flashed through my mind; I tasted every memory I had with him, every fight every holiday. Now that Tsukasa was gone, never to come back.  
  
It has been six months since the injection. I would still be sad some times but things were going all right for me. I had Rui as my best friend, and Akira and Soujiro as my jokers. What could a girl ask for more? Except maybe to be more comfortable around Tsukasa. Tsukasa has a new girlfriend now, he looks at her with the tenderness he used to reserve for me. I'm glad that the damaged part of his brain hadn't caused him any trouble in loving again. I wish them all the best of luck. I'm really happy that another girl would be as lucky as me to feel the bless of being loved by the fiery tempered Tsukasa.  
  
Yesterday I attended their wedding. Tsukasa's new girlfriend looked gorgeous in her white gown, and Tsukasa arrived on time. No black sedans this time. F3 and me all breathed a sigh of relief.  
  
And you want to ask about me? You want to know whom I ended up with? Well, that's another story to tell.  
  
* * * * * The end was crappy, I hate to admit. And rushed too, since I'm too sleepy. Please, please comment. 


End file.
